Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
