You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
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Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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