Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
