it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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