His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
operation harelip BJ is a go
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
