Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
