Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
