i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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