The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
