i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
