I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
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