It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
