Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It's never too late to be topless.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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