so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
