her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize