So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
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you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
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Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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