why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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