Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Naked Twister starts at high noon
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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