Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
