Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
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So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
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Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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