All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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