I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
dude. I can hear the air.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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