The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
