I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
