i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
