It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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