My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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