She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
We need to rekindle our bromance
Life is so much better after having sex.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
