So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
