how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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