maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize