Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
