Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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