I'm jealous of your bromance
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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