I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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