My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize