I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
