Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
