I look better un-naked...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
