Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
