I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
