omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
