Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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