You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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