dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
