my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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