The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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