There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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