Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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