He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
