you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
