i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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