i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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