i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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