how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize