it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize