i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
