How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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